I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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