And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
