Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
