he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
3 2 1 whiskey
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
