Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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