I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
