im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
