people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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