My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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