hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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