omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
