Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
