Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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