Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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