i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize