I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
