is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
