420 ftw
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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