i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
there is puke in my bra ... again
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
