i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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