Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
