it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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