So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
