I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
