is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
