it's too hot outside to masturbate.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
