GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
