Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Text me some of your sweat
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
