I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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