god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
