Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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