waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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