I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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