We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
