Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
