what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
