I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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