Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
