sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
