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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.

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• (310): View more from California

  it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined

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• (415): View more from California

  was it good sex?

  (510): View more from California

  i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was

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• (716): View more from New York

  That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.

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• (758): View more from St. Lucia-Carib

  He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'

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• (858): View more from California

  I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all

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