i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
