someone get that fucking seahorse.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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