I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
