Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
