So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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