and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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