I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
