idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
