Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
