Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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