At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
