Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
