So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
