We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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