After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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