just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
