i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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