rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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