Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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