something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
