Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
