bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
