white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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